To Wish Impossible Things
To whom it may concern,
I've wanted to tell you for a while now. I know that you already know, that everyone already knows, but I have never told you. I wanted to tell you the last time I saw you, when you looked as you always do, laughed as you always do, smiled as you always do. I wanted so badly to tell you but the words each time graced my lips only to fall away, lost, like a ship adrift in open water, miles from shore, with no friendly stars to guide it home. I was afraid you would take them as a responsibility. I was afraid they would frighten you. But if I never told you, I would be being unfair both to myself and to you. So I hope that these words find you. I pray that you can hear them for what they are, feel them for what they are, and not mar them with knowledge that they stand apart from your ability to reciprocate them. Please take them in your heart and feel them with your eyes closed and your soul open, for a moment. If for only just a moment.
I can't go on like this. Every time I see you, wondering if there's hope, wondering if it's possible. You see what I'm sad about is selfish. I'm sad about the universe's timing. I'm only a man, and as a man I want you. I want you terribly. I want you kiss, I want your smile, oh how I want your smile. But most of all, I want the day that hasn't happened yet. The day when you let yourself fall for me. What makes it hard is not knowing if that day will ever come. The day you smile brightly as you hurl yourself backwards off the cliff and say, catch me baby. If I knew it would never come I could make you the villain, me the victim, and sooth myself. But I can't, because that may not be true, the truth we both know. The truth is, not today.
There's always been something between us. I feel it and I know deep down you feel it too. Maybe not a lot, maybe just a little, but just a little is just enough. And maybe, just maybe if the universe so desires, a day will come when we find ourselves accidentally strolling along the high cliffs of the Dells, or the golden sands of Devil's Lake, or the calm waters of Kegonsa, or the smooth sidewalk of State Street. And in a moment neither of us was told about, but knew like our oldest happiness. We will look into each others' eyes and know it is today, it is today. And whether that day is tomorrow, or next week, or next year, or next life time, I will finally get to tell you to your sweet face, a face that I adore more than I could ever tell. That I want you, that I love you, and you'll smile brightly, close your eyes and say, catch me baby, and fall.
الأربعاء نوفمبر 24, 2010 7:51 pm
